lace:

Straight people when the worst song you’ve ever heard comes on:

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bunjywunjy:

knicodiangelo:

this is the most underrated part of rockin’ and rollin’ yoda

Luke’s face is what makes this.



thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

ordinaryredtail:

candiikismet:

cats-and-company:

Queen.

I always have to reboot this.

For anyone wondering, this is amazing enrichment for the animal and a great way to involve guests! The lions aren’t forced to play with the rope if they don’t want to, and these guys (and anyone else who tries this out) have an awesome close up and hands on experience, all without having to come in direct contact with the cat!

I’m really relieved that this is actually something which is enjoyable and fun for the lion because I was worried about that <3



dankmemeuniversity:

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cannibalcoalition:

Cute story from work.

So this couple walks in- a broad-shouldered man with an accent (Italian, I think) and a man that I can best describe as looking like Cecil Palmer. 

“Okay- weird question. So you guys did our wedding- amazing by the way. And it’s been a month and just about all the flowers in the vases have died by now except for this one thing that’s really holding on in there. And we want to know what that plant is and how to take care of it to keep it alive. And we don’t know how to like… describe it and it sounds kind of weird to go to up to a stranger and say ‘hey what’s this weird wiggly green plant you put in our vases a month ago?’ but I guess that’s what I’m asking.”

“Sounds like curly willow. If you keep it in water it will eventually start rooting and you can grow a new plant from it from the cutting.” 

“That is too cool! What do you suggest we do?”

“Well, you can keep it in the water for now, but eventually you’ll want to pot it in soil because that’s how it’s going to get its nutrients.”

“Can we,” the Italian guy asks. “Can we plant it in the floor?” I figure he means ‘plant it outside.’ 

I nod. “It’ll keep growing.”

“What does it look like when it’s bigger? Does it stay like a wiggly stick?”

“Oh, no, it’ll branch out. It’s actually a tree.” 

The skinnier one turns to his husband and says:

“Did you hear that, honey? They gave us a tree! We have a tree now!” 

Italian man: “It’s our tree. We love our tree.”



this-badass-cutie-patootie:

queenkazma:

books-and-candy-ples:

the-winter-road:

andersonsallpurpose:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

bold-sartorial-statement:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

themintykid:

systlin:

hiking-viking:

chromalogue:

kirkspocks:

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth,
And bathed his count'nance fair.
Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar,
I found on the cold pavement
While returning in glory | from a grand hunt
For a 3 AM quesadilla.

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

@theshitpostcalligrapher

ay @systlin hmu

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@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

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@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

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(oops spot the typos)

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin
við fæðingu Þórs
á stígnum við Taco Bell
Þar lá Loki

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

Loki hates you all




half-ace:

peppermintsdicks:

peppermintsdicks:

when you’re watching a movie and suddenly there’s a forced hetero romance

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you do know that gay people exist outside of yaoi, right

when some rando leaves homophobic comments on a good relatable joke post

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manie-sans-delire-x:

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dailytweets:

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70sdaisy:

i’m a simple lady. i see a picture of a pretty woman. i forget how to breath for about 5 mintues. and that’s just how it is



oldlunchmeat:
“im gunna go back in time and kick my own ass
”

oldlunchmeat:

im gunna go back in time and kick my own ass



narutheaux:

This is what you crackheads sound like talking to each other on this site